Business in the Front, Party in the Back, Banned in the Middle East

It's happened. Iran banned the mullet.

Along with ponytails and spiky hair, mullets are no longer allowed in Iran. And I gotta tell you, for once I totally agree with Iran. The haircut is gross and sort of looks like you got your hair cut in a hurry. Like you didn't have enough time for them to get to the back of your head before you had to run out of the stylists' chair and away from the COPS cameramen trailing you to your...well, trailer.

I will say this, though. I do appreciate the fact that the USA gives me the freedom to have shitty hair. I mean, it doesn't make the mullet any less gross. But I do have the freedom to choose to look like a hot mess.

USA! USA! USA!

My Bad, Haiti

I have a (rather obvious) confession to make: I have rarely met a low cut neckline I didn't like. I have very few modest necklines in my wardrobe, and I tend to prefer a good v-neck or scoop to a mock.

That said, I think that immodestly dressed women causing earthquakes is a little bit extreme, Muslim Clerics.

I mean, I guess anything is possible. So if this is true, my bad, Haiti.

Newsroom Drama. Video at 11.

We need to talk about all the nonsense going on in my News class. Because at this point, the class drama is more interesting than the news we're covering.

We would cover it, but it's a conflict of interest.

It was all brewing at the beginning of the semester when our professor that we were supposed to have went to another college. We got reassigned to the professor we have now, who is a great person but teaches in a style that doesn't really work for me. And it's a class full of really ambitious people that are willing to step on others' toes to get what they want (unfortunately). So when we stepped into the studio, I knew stuff would get ugly after a while.

And it did. It started with some pretty catty e-mails that got sent to the entire class, which started one of the most middle school fights I've ever seen (since the Facebook fight between two other people last year). One of the parties involved didn't come to class today, so she missed Drama #2.

This one started when we walked into class. The teacher passed us a handout, which Meg and I immediately thought was the e-mail battle that had somehow gotten back to her (judging by one girl's face, I thought we were all in for it). Turned out it was the teacher telling us we weren't doing a newscast on Friday, that we were having a test on Monday, an essay due then, and that our work had been for nothing.

Which, really, Meg and I hadn't done work yet on the package, but still, everyone else had.

Turned into a few people basically saying what the whole class was thinking to the teacher (that we were wasting time and that we really needed that studio time, and that we were really offended that we weren't learning more and all that). C had to step out, I asked S to go check on her, and I took a bathroom break to walk around and not be in that room because...drama.

I mean, I'm not going to rag on Park as much as Meg did (although I do agree with a lot of what she says). I know that there are teachers that know what they're doing and teach really well. I just haven't had all of them. But really, can we just do a newscast and save the drama for your mama? I want this semester to end with me sort of knowing what I'm doing in a control room and with an A plus or minus average. Not much to ask! Why so much of this shit?

And They Were All Yellow

One more reason why I love Coldplay? They're willing to go yellow. In more ways than one.

According to BBC Entertainment (which is pretty trustworthy, at least more than E! Online and about on par with EW, because that's kind of their job to know), my favorite band will be made Simpsons in a September episode. The article reports:

The band will reportedly be hired by Homer to play a private concert for him and
Bart after he wins the lottery.

"When Bart goes to the bathroom, Coldplay
has to stop," executive producer Al Green told US website Entertainment Weekly.

See, they're talented and have a great sense of humor. As if Chris Martin singing at the end of Bruno wasn't enough indication.

Even The Middle Eastern Media Hates the PA

Appparently the PA isn't a fan of Al Jazeera either.

The satellite news channel was shut down by the Palestinian Authority because the broadcasts were too "unbalanced" against their party. I'm not going to recap the whole incident, rather I'm sending you over to the BBC for the facts.

I will say this though: it's a total shame and offensive against the free press. Al Jazeera is trying to provide a service of non-state sanctioned media (well, sort of, the company is funded by the Emir of Qatar, but it operates out of government oversight from Doha, London, Kuala Lumpur, and Washington DC). And for a station to be shut down because it's saying something you don't like is sort of ridiculous. I can't stand FOX News, but I wouldn't shut the channel down.

Yes, But Do They Serve Peanuts?

I kid you not, there is now a pets-only exclusive airline. It's called Pet Airways, and I'm insanely amused.

The creators of the airline looked to their own dog, Zoe, for inspiration. Apparently, the little Jack Russell Terrier was too precious for them to not think of when they went on vacation, per their website "Our Story" section.

"...there's one thing Zoe is certainly not, and that's cargo. As we're fond of telling our neighbor Janet, her boxer Samson isn't Samsonite, and she agreed. In fact, we met lots of neighbors, friends and even complete strangers who felt exactly the same way.

So we got to thinking. Maybe Zoe was trying to tell us something. Maybe there was a travel solution that would suit her perfectly, and everyone else out there too. Instead of trying to convince the human airlines to treat pets better, why not start up an airline just for pets? And Pet Airways was born."

See, I have loved all my pets (except maybe Beau), whether they're adorable huge flat coat retrievers, goldfish, or ZZ the Beta.

But this is taking it a little far. I understand wanting to have your dog with you on vacation, especially when you see other people walking their dogs down the beach or playing fetch with a frisbee. But I draw the line at putting them on a plane. I understand road tripping it with Fido in the backseat, but if there's an overhead compartment or security check involved, I think it's gotten a little ridiculous. So shame on you, Pet Airways, for upping the yuppie factor on vacation.

Um...No Gracias

Ugh, as if Venezuela needs any more trouble.

Mickey Mouse here (whoever got this picture, thanks a bunch!) has decided to impose more restrictions on the Venezuelan media by making cable and satellite channels carry more speeches by Hugo Chavez on a regular basis, a so-called "democratizing the airwaves" idea.

Now, I'm all for watching political speeches. I try to catch them when Obama makes them here, and I tried to catch Bush and Clinton before him (to make fun of them with Dad).

But I don't think that a cable network should be forced to carry the presidential speeches. I think that they're certainly important and that the people around the country should have access to them, so they know what the hell is going on with their country.

But I don't think that a network should be forced to broadcast it. I mean, imagine if every channel was forced to carry State of the Unions rather than just the big 4 (ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX). It would be like when the 9/11 footage was on every waking moment on every channel except Disney. And really, I don't want my State of the Union speeches on every channel.

Although it would be an improvement on the VH1 programming schedule, I'll give you that.

Death By Chocolate

And it didn't even happen at Hershey!

Apparently, a man in Camden at Cocoa Services Inc. fell into a vat of chocolate. He was putting solid chocolate into a melting vat but slipped and fell in, and apparently was shorter than the 8 foot deep vat.

He supposedly died instantly when the mixer of the chocolate smacked him in the head. And when his boys tried to turn off the mixer, he was already dead.

So if you live in the Camden area, check your chocolate bars for people.

Can you imagine when this guy gets to wherever he ends up? I want to see that conversation.

God: So Vincent Smith Jr., what brings you here to the pearly gates?
Vincent: Um, chocolate.
God: Overindulgence is a sin, you're going straight back to Hell.
Vincent: Wait! No! I fell into it, not ate it! I got hit by the mixer! I didn't even drown in chocolate!
God: Oh, my mistake. You'll be joining those guys from Boston in the corner. Be careful, they're sticky.

Only Twitter Can Prevent Forest Fires

Sorry, Smokey, but you might be out of a job.

Sort of like how California has those late summer/early fall wildfires, Australia is in the midst of some crazy brush fires and people's homes are being engulfed. Now here in the US, the National Weather Service will alert people about horrible weather via TV or radio with that crazy annoying testing beeping that they always test but never seems to get used.

Except for that one time I was down the beach and there was a Tornado Watch, or when we were in Ithaca and it was snowing wicked hard before we all went home for Christmas.

Anyway, Australia is deciding against just using traditional National Weather Systems and has now turned to...Twitter. And Facebook.

So stop LOLing and check your homepage to make sure @Australia isn't experiencing some fires near you.

Good News, My Caffeine Addicts!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist the picture)

In my daily BBC Skim, I found this little nugget. And since I'm surrounded by coffee drinkers (Dad?) most of the time, I thought I'd share. Apparently, coffee turns your teeth yellow but may reverse Alzheimer's.

"The Florida research, carried out on mice, also suggested caffeine hampered the production of the protein plaques which are the hallmark of the disease.

Previous research has also suggested a protective effect from caffeine.

But British experts said the Journal of Alzheimer's disease study did not
mean that dementia patients should start using caffeine supplements. "

Now the bad news here is that the mice who just drank water did not do as well as their hopped-up counterparts.

Which means if I have Alzheimer's later in life, I'm absolutely screwed.

Dear God, They're Breeding

Morgan Pepper, if you're reading this, please sit down.

Just found out that Ugly Jonas (can't remember his name, it's the oldest one) just got engaged to his girlfriend. I question this decision on a few grounds.

First of all, Ugly, you're making a good portion of the psychologically underdeveloped and/or disturbed female tween population that inexplicably find you "dreamy" and "hot." Morgan Pepper being one of them.

Second of all, you're what, 22ish? I mean, you're old enough to drive, drink, and vote, but I would personally wait a little bit before you got married. I know the purity ring is starting to burn and you want it NOW, but really, do you want to get married at 22 when you have (screwed up) groupies throwing themselves at you? You could totally have a fling with Demi Lovato or whatever the other one's name is right now! I would suggest Miley to slut it up, but she's otherwise occupied with your younger (cuter) brother.

Third, I take pity on your fiancee. You've been dressing like an ugly version of JC Chasez, and it's not working for you (JC? You can dress as dandy as you want, because you're the most eloquent judge on America's Best Dance Crew, and I love you for that and your white boy bowties). You have a voice higher than my sister Corinne and more annoying than Aaron Carter (which...wow). I have heavy suspicions that you are an undercover brother. I give you 5 years before we find you making out in Les Deux with Lance Bass.

Don't give them water after midnight, they're breeding already.

SNL and Politics: A Match Made in Minnesota

We've probably all seen Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, Jason Sudeikis as Joe Biden, Darrell Hammond as John McCain, and Fred Armisen as Barack Obama.

And if you haven't, you totally should go YouTube.

But according to the BBC today (yes, I troll it daily, I like staying informed), the courts have finally decided that Al Franken is the new junior senator from Minnesota.

Go Al!

I also discovered that the word "Filibuster" comes from the Dutch word for "pirate." Go figure.

Glaswegans Can Now Look On The Bright Side of Life

Just found this one trolling on the BBC. I understand Glasgow is one of the more strongly religious parts of the UK, but personally, I think keeping the Glaswegans from watching a Monty Python movie is pretty sacreligious.

Councillors in Glasgow have lifted an unofficial 30-year-old ban on the Monty
Python film The Life of Brian.

The council's licensing and regulatory committee approved a request on Tuesday from Glasgow Film Theatre to show the biblical satire under a 15 certificate.
Glasgow was one of 39 local 0uthorities in the UK that refused to grant the film a general release in 1979.

Opponents said the film, about a Jewish man who is mistaken for the Messiah and crucified, was blasphemous.
Councillor Willie O'Rourke, vice convener of the licensing and regulatory committee, said: "This is the first application we've received to show Monty Python's Life of Brian since the first request."

"Life of Brian has been broadcast on television over the years and is now
widely available on DVD. The world, and people's attitudes, have moved on
in the last 30 years, so I believe the committee made the right decision today."

Remember That Time Kangaroos Got High?

So while I was at school today working with the kids I found this little gem on the BBC. Who knew?

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles. Then they crash Lara Giddings, government official

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told the hearing.

"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Rick Rockliff, a spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," he added.

Retired Tasmanian poppy farmer Lyndley Chopping also said he had seen strange behaviour from wallabies in his fields.

"They would just come and eat some poppies and they would go away," he told ABC News.

"They'd come back again and they would do their circle work in the paddock."