Dear suicidals and murderers -It has come to my attention over the past few weeks that you seem to favor trains and train stations as a method of killing either yourself or your rivals. I ask this of you: please refrain from using these methods.
Not to sound selfish or anything but it's really rude to disrupt people's transportation because you feel the need to off someone.
For example, me and 300 of my closest fellow London commuters took an extra 2 plus hours to get home from all corners of the Southeast because someone thought it was a good idea to bump someone in the way of an oncoming train. We had to get off at Shenfield, wait an hour, take a bus to Gidea Park, wait a half hour, and then take the slow train up to London Liverpool Street, from where it took me another half hour or so to get home.
Thursday transport was disrupted when some teenage gang bangers thought it was a great idea to stab their fellow school chum in the ticketing area of Victoria station on the London Underground. My journey wasn't held up, but tons of other people had issues getting to places - like Gatwick Airport - because the entire station was shut down.
So the moral of this story is this: if you're going to kill yourself, please don't do it in front of a train. It's quick, but it disrupts so many people's lives. Especially the poor driver! You don't want to be a burden to anyone, and yet you just scarred the guy for life!
Furthermore, if you're planning on commiting a homicide, please don't do it in or around a train or tube station. There are plenty of back alleys in the UK, please make use of them instead.
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