Reason #8293579823 Why I Want A Dog

Because of this.

I mean, I know my dog was overly aggressive, and I can't have the one before him again (because he died, poor Zeus).

But one day, I'm totally getting a dog of my own.

Glaswegans Can Now Look On The Bright Side of Life

Just found this one trolling on the BBC. I understand Glasgow is one of the more strongly religious parts of the UK, but personally, I think keeping the Glaswegans from watching a Monty Python movie is pretty sacreligious.

Councillors in Glasgow have lifted an unofficial 30-year-old ban on the Monty
Python film The Life of Brian.

The council's licensing and regulatory committee approved a request on Tuesday from Glasgow Film Theatre to show the biblical satire under a 15 certificate.
Glasgow was one of 39 local 0uthorities in the UK that refused to grant the film a general release in 1979.

Opponents said the film, about a Jewish man who is mistaken for the Messiah and crucified, was blasphemous.
Councillor Willie O'Rourke, vice convener of the licensing and regulatory committee, said: "This is the first application we've received to show Monty Python's Life of Brian since the first request."

"Life of Brian has been broadcast on television over the years and is now
widely available on DVD. The world, and people's attitudes, have moved on
in the last 30 years, so I believe the committee made the right decision today."

Like Oprah, But Paler, and Less Influential

I've decided to put out a summer reading list of what I plan on reading this summer. It's not too long, and it's a mix of solid books with fluffy summer reads. Let me know if you've read any of them, if they're good, the like. We'll chat. I'm in the middle of reading 3 of them simultaneously (which...is probably a bad plan, but the plots have nothing in common, so it's not like I can mix up Chelsea Handler and Milan Kundera).

It's kind of like Oprah's reading list, only I'm not going to slam an author because he lied about being on coke.

1) "The Reader," by Bernard Schlinck
This one I already read, and I thought it was fabulous. Coincidentally, this is also an Oprah's Book Club pick, but that's not why I read/picked it. A pretty quick, emotional read that I pretty much devoured in 3 days (and one very long wait at the doctor's office). I saw the movie first, but I still cried during the book. Both are fully worth it, if you get the chance.

That said, if you're not a fan of nudity, stick to the book. I was kind of put off by how much Kate Winslet was naked in the movie. I'm not offended by nudity in movies, but with Kate Winslet, I was just kind of over it.

Status: Finished; just as good as, if not better than, the movie. Better in that Kate Winslet isn't naked for half of it, worse in that Ralph Fiennes was awesome as Peter.


2) "A Thousand Splendid Suns," by Khaled Hosseini
I'm about 100 plus pages in, and I gotta tell you, this one is depressing. Not that "The Kite Runner" wasn't, it's just that I thought "The Kite Runner" was better. This book is more expected, very similar in style.

It kind of makes you feel really happy that you don't live in Afghanistan, then or now. No offense, I'm sure there are great parts of the country, but the news and this book never seem to find them. And the burqa isn't really flattering on me.

Status: Finished; insanely depressing, but good ending.

3) "Juiced," by Jose Canseco
This one wasn't completely voluntary on my part. I had to read and review it for my Sports Journalism class with a teacher who I won't name, because he has Google Alerts on his name (which made a heaping slice of awkward on the last blog). I did get to pick a book, but it had to be sports related.

And I gotta tell you, I really liked this. Canseco was kind of arrogant and kind of an asshole, but at least he was honest, and I appreciate that. It's all about drugs and sex, and it makes for a great beach read even for the least of sports fans.

Status: Finished; good for a guy's beach read.


4) "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," by Milan Kundera
So far, not bad. It's kind of hard to follow, because it's very cerebral in the "lightness" and "heaviness" bits, and it's written in anecdotes rather than chronologically. Again, a lot of sex in this book, but it's really interesting and it does give a pretty decent history lesson on Prague Spring.

And again, if you're not a fan of nudity, don't see the movie that goes with it. It's a great movie, but I watched it in the library and people walked by me like I was watching porn.

Status: Finished; the movie was way better. It had Daniel "Day-TASTY!" Day-Lewis in a love triangle with Lena Olin and Juliette Binoche, and it was told in order.


5) "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" by Chelsesa Handler
Off a suggestion from Morgan and after watching Chelsea Lately, I decided to check out book of essays about her life. I'm about 5 pages in and think it's a riot. So if you want a funny, girlie beach read, I suggest this one.

I actually wanted to read "My Horizontal Life" first, but the Hockessin Library already check it out and I'm like 7th on the waiting list for it. So by the time I get it, I'll be back at school.

Status: Finished; it's an absolute riot. Happily on the waiting list for "My Horizontal Life."

6) "The Gun Seller," by Hugh Laurie
I don't really need to explain this pick and why I decided to read it. As it turns out, he's a fantastic writer. I started the book last summer and read half of it in one day at Tower Road Beach. And then I had to work like crazy and forgot everything that happened in the book.

I do remember it was funny, though. So I'm rereading it so I can remember what happened. And it's last on my list.

Status: Not re-started yet, but I'm on it.

7/6/09: Just added "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain to the list. Because the television show based on it (featuring a post-Alias but pre-Hangover Bradley Cooper) was absolutely hilarious.

Schoooooool's Out...For...Summer?

Except for it's not.

As people are taking summer classes at UD (which I am not doing), going to the beach (which I am not doing), or laying at the pool getting a tan (which I am not capable of doing), I am here at Conrad Middle School, now the Conrad School for the Sciences.

Actually, right now it's Conrad Summer School, and I'm teaching Ed Options - sort of an online course for people who need to pass English.

Anyway, my job is to supervise and grade. And in the downtime from the answer key-based grading and yelling at people to work, I get to hang on the computer for 5 hours a day. Which got me thinking that I'm sort of over the internet at some points.

Most of the time is spent on BBC checking the news (I know, I know, I'm putting myself out of business). Then it's off to checking my e-mail a few (hundred) times. Then E!Online and EW to get the entertainment (entertaining?) news. Then I'm almost out of options, because everything good like Facebook, Twitter, Best Week Ever, Vh1, Pandora, YouTube, Sporcle and other wonderful time wasters are blocked. It really only leaves me 3 options: Blogger, LOLDogs, or Overheard Everywhere (haven't tried Texts from Last Night, but I imagine it'll be blocked). So I decided to bring a book.

Is "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" inappropriate? (For sure, read it!)

Oh, one more funny nugget from school today:
"Who grades my stuff?" - Sean
"God." - Me
"Damn, I'm going to flunk." - Sean

Remember That Time Kangaroos Got High?

So while I was at school today working with the kids I found this little gem on the BBC. Who knew?

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles. Then they crash Lara Giddings, government official

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told the hearing.

"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Rick Rockliff, a spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," he added.

Retired Tasmanian poppy farmer Lyndley Chopping also said he had seen strange behaviour from wallabies in his fields.

"They would just come and eat some poppies and they would go away," he told ABC News.

"They'd come back again and they would do their circle work in the paddock."

DSC, Please Hold

Today started my second foray into summer school administration/teaching, and I gotta say, it was rocky.

This year rather than being coordinator assistant in a middle school, I'm an Ed Options supervisor/teacher/person in a high school program. So that was my first clue to get out of the middle school meeting halfway through (although it was nice to see 3 of my previous teachers from middle and high school wondering why I was there. I accidentally insulted one, I think, by saying I was way too young to teach...).

Anyway, the whole program I'm working on is online. Which is cool. The bad news is, the server for the school (and the district at large) tends to crash the day before it's needed by everyone involved with the summer school. Especially us, whose whole program is on the Internet. And us, who need to get logged in before we can do/grade anything.

A bigger problem here is with DSC, or Data Service Center. In addition to being the people who take care of all the grades, report cards, and attendance records, they're also the people who need to log you into the system before you can get paid. Which...it says I'm logged into, but I don't remember ever getting a user name or password. I did last year, but I don't remember the password or how the hell my old supervisor misspelled my name (something like Alexandria Polumbo). So I can't get paid my $13 an hour.

I finally got it all worked out with my name spelled correctly and my password securely in place, but it still meant I had to listen to a video game version of "Let it Be" for 20 minutes. Oy.

Do You Strongly Dislike, Somewhat Dislike, or Just Want To Hang Up?

I pity telemarketers.

From journalism class, I know that they commonly call during dinner hours because they know that's when people are home to answer their questions or take their surveys. I know that my age demographic is tough to get to because we're rarely home at the time they call, and we're better with cell phones than we are with landlines. I also know that they have a very low chance of success because people hang up on them or yell at them before slamming the phone back down on the cradle.

So when one called last night asking me specifically about the proposed national health care plan, I took pity on them and decided to go through with the survey. And damn was it long.

Because at the end of the day, they do need my age group in statistics. And I really feel horrible for the people stuck with a telemarketer job because it must just be a self-esteem killer, having people curse you out and slam the phone down in attempt to never talk to you. I want to know how many people take the time to answer the questions they ask, even if your dad is yelling at you that it's dinner time. I know Mom does because she feels bad too.

I Don't Think It's About Gardening

I thought that we as a society had all gotten past the whole feminine product commercial awkwardness. I mean, yeah, you don't want to think about what it's for, but it's necessary, and television ads reach pretty much all the customers these companies would ever ask for. But I was watching some pointless countdown on E! today and this commercial came on for the Schick Quattro bikini line trimmer.

I understand that hygiene and proper grooming are important, but it's not really all that subtle what they're referring to. And really, I don't want to watch commercials about a product to trim pubes. I'm not morally outraged or anything, I'm just saying that the commercial is a little awkward. I will give it this, though: it's waaaaaaaaay more subtle than this version.

(Although that second version is pretty funny. Thanks to my old roomie for that viral bit)

Firefox Is Not A Fan of This Blog

This isn't really important, it just seems that Mozilla refuses this blog a spot on my Bookmarks toolbar. Actually, it doesn't deny it a spot so much as the link never works. It sends me to Google Ads or to comment on my own blog.

And even I'm not that pathetic.

Yet.

Edited to Add: For now, things seem like they're working. But I had to RSS feed myself to get it. Ugh.

Just kidding: Still issues and kinks, but better than before.

First EMTs, Now the Blue Bonnet Man

Just to establish, I'm very particular about my ice cream. And not the vanilla, as the header implies. I'm really a peppermint chocolate chip kind of girl. And when I want prime peppermint chocolate chip ice cream, I head over to Woodside Creamery, our friendly neighborhood farm/ice cream stand.

Now if you've read the old blog that I accidentally deleted, you know I've had some fun sightings at the creamery—the most fun being the EMTs and emergency services vehicle that showed up not for defibrillation, but for some Rocky Road.

Tonight was even better, because the Blue Bonnet ice cream truck had the gall to drive past with its music box jingle wailing its way down North Star. It then turned into the Woodside Driveway for some grub.

Pass the Curry Popcorn

Generally, the sidebar ads on different websites are annoying. They bounce, they have you shoot ducks, they talk to you about how different people have made money sitting on their asses...

...anyway.

This one was intriguing, because it gave about 8 different countries and their stats on movie viewership (as of Nation Master, which is slightly more reliable but not as funny as Graph Jam). Apparently, of the countries mentioned, India has the largest viewership of movies, with the USA ranking 2nd. It didn't really shock me, there are a billion plus people in India and they crank out Bollywood movies almost weekly. But it's interesting all the same.

A Fail of Epic Proportions

So all 3 of you that read this are probably wondering why the heck I'm using a different blog than my last one. The reason is pretty simple.

I failed.

But really, though. I wanted to delete the Gmail that I had because it had a stupid name and because I barely used it for anything. Fair enough.

What I didn't realize is that my now-defunct Gmail account was directly linked to the blog, and since I had deleted that Gmail, I couldn't update it anymore.

Oops.

So here's the new one. Enjoy. Spread it around like wildfire. Like rufus.